Traveling Parent Connects with Lisa Frederiksen

Once a traveling parent, always a traveling parent.  Lisa, a speaker, author and consultant specializing in issues related to alcohol abuse and alcoholism, shared some of her experiences even though her daughters are now grown and in college.

Having children out of the house doesn’t mean there is wisdom to share with those who are experiencing the challenge of being a business traveling parent now.   For example, the idea of leaving a “good morning” message is timeless and helpful to parents traveling today. (I wish I had the discipline!)

How many nights a month are you away from the kids?

On average, it was 2-3 nights/trip/quarter, four to five times/year.

What is the one special routine you have to keep you connected with the kids while you're traveling? 

Before I left, I'd talk about where I was going and what I would be doing (meetings/what kind/ the people who would be there).  I also would draw a picture with a good morning message for each day I'd be gone (one for each of my two daughters). Their caregiver (father, grandmother or babysitter) would give them my written pictures/notes each morning. In the evening, I would call at the same time. That way, their days were anchored on each end by a contact they could count on from mom.

Describe your feelings about being a business traveling parent?

As long as I knew they were in good hands and their routines were staying the same, I was okay and often really enjoyed the first evening away - I'd order room service and watch a movie  and enjoy the "freedom." I also loved my job, which helped.

What will your kids remember about their childhood with you as a business traveling parent?

The hotel freebies I'd bring home (haha). But seriously, I think they enjoyed the change of having someone else in charge. There was never a "please don't goooo...," which, of course, made it easier for me.

 

Thanks to Lisa to Lisa for sharing her experiences

Sphere: Related Content

Traveling Parent Connects with Paul Bennett, Co-Founder Context Travel

I have a confession.

When I first read Paul Bennett's responses to my question, I thought two things.  Firstly, I thought the answers were not detailed enough and I want details!  Secondly, I thought the tips weren’t particularly “unique” and I wanted new, never-been-shared before idea.  I wanted a scoop!

Boy, was I being short-sighted because what quickly occurred to me is “why make it harder than it needs to be?” Being a business traveling parent can be hard enough and if your personal style and relationship with your kids is such that a phone call (or Skype video conference) makes the connection, then amen.  What Paul shared with me is genuine, practical and without question, helpful. 

But before unleashing that pragmatism, I also want to share this: Context Travel is something to know about.  Another confession is that despite the fact that I travel to many amazing places, I don’t get to learn nearly enough about the cities I’m visiting.  Context is all about providing what it describes as “scholar-led walks of the world's greatest cities”.  I encourage a visit to the site and consideration of their services.  Next visit to Istanbul, or anyplace the provide their services, I’m seriously thinking about it!

Enough with the confessions.  Please enjoy Paul’s experiences as a business traveling parent.

How many nights a month are you away from the kids? 

About 6 nights.

What is the one special routine you have to keep you connected with the kids while you're traveling?

We use video conferencing through skype. Also, whenever one of my daughters starts feeling funny about Daddy being away my wife just gives her a cell phone and she rings me, even the 2-year-old, which is fun.

Describe your feelings about being a business traveling parent? 

I hate being away from my kids. I enjoy bringing them with me when I can, as I think it's a great experience for them.

What will your kids remember about their childhood with you as a business traveling parent? 

Probably very little about the times when I'm gone by myself, hopefully a lot about the times that I bring them along.

Thanks , Paul, for the parenting and travel inspiration.

Sphere: Related Content

Traveling Parent Connects with Kevin Kennedy, Exec. VP, PCGCampbell

PCGCampbell is a marketing communications firm with one office in Detroit and another in Los Angeles.

The agency’s stated mission is “Connecting Clients with Customers”.  Kevin’s role in public relations keeps him out in front of his clients and very occasionally, his client’s customers.  As anybody in the agency business knows, if you want the great opportunities, travel comes with the territory.

I know this first hand since my first jobs were in the agency business.  Based in New York, I had clients in Boston and Washington, DC.  I didn’t have kids, and while I racked up serious miles, because of the shuttle service (Eastern Airlines, Pan Am, Trump...wow, that’s going waaay back), I didn’t spend many nights away.

Of course, not all business travel can be done in day trips.  Kevin’s experience is certainly shared by millions and his approach is worth sharing as well.

How many nights a month are you away from the kids?

It varies depending on the time of year.  It usually is 3-4 nights per month, but at certain times of year, it can be 7-8 or more.  I've been gone 6 days in the last two weeks, so it all depends on client needs.

What is the one special routine you have to keep you connected with the kids while you're traveling?

I have started to try and take 1-2 photos of day for my son of where I am and what I may be doing.  That may be as simple as a picture of my hotel room, to the view from my room, to a statue I see in a city, to a race car in the NASCAR garage.  I also, when at a race track, will call at least once to let my son hear the race cars.  I have found that it gives us something to talk about when we chat on the phone at night, that doesn't have to do with school or homework.  My son has taken to having my wife send me photos of what they are doing, and he's starting to send me emails as well.  I also have tried to take he and my wife on one special trip a year (when I am on business), so that he can experience something different.

Describe your feelings about being a business traveling parent?

I've traveled my entire career (was a sportswriter before this job), so the travel isn't anything new for me, and my son kind of grew up knowing that I would be gone for periods of time.  It's a lot harder, however, to travel when there's a child involved versus before my son was born, and I think at times it's harder on him as he gets older.  I hate to miss important things in his life, whether that be a cub scout meeting, or a soccer game, or whatever.  That said, I've resorted many times to taking flights I normally wouldn't consider - like red-eyes - just to be home to take him to school, or spend a couple extra hours with him somewhere. 

What will your kids remember about their childhood with you as a business traveling parent?

I hope my son will remember that even if I was gone, he was always on my mind and what he (and my wife) was doing back home was important to me.  There has never, ever been a night where I didn't speak with him and my wife while traveling.

Sphere: Related Content

Traveling Parent Connects with Yvette Adams, Director, The Creative Collective

As I’ve written in past posts, the experiences of traveling parents are indeed universal.  Yvette hails from Australia…Brisbane to be more precise.  The Creative Collective, a firm she founded, doesn’t require an enormous amount of travel, but it does require some.

Ironically, it’s infrequent travel that can sometimes cause more issues at home.  That’s because interruptions in “rituals and routines” are one of the causes of anxiety in children and if business travel is the routine (like it is in my home), then travel isn’t as potentially disruptive in the same was as infrequent travel might be.

Regardless of the frequency of trips, we all find our own rituals and routines to keep the connected to the kids left at home.

How many nights a month are you away from the kids?

Varies. Can be several nights towards the end of the year when there are award ceremonies inter-state and international to attend and I use the opportunity to network while in a certain location. Sometimes only 1 night a month.

What is the one special routine you have to keep you connected with the kids while you're traveling?

I ring every night to catch up on how their day was. If I can’t make the night call, certainly on the morning.  I may well send them a postcard also or go shopping for something special to bring back to them.

Describe your feelings about being a business traveling parent?

It is always hard to leave them behind but I figure I’m a role model by following my dream and providing for them despite being away some times. I have amassed a great ‘support crew' in the form of a loving partner, helpful parents, family day care provider (an older woman who cares from her home) and others to help me get by.

What will your kids remember about their childhood with you as a business traveling parent?

I hope when they are a little older (they’re currently 2 and 5) and my financial position permits I can take them with me to learn about new places and they will certainly be memorable trips. I think at this age they will remember that I do always come home eventually (no matter how long the trip may seem in their space and time!) and the presents I bring back that no other kids in town have (I heart New York teeshirt, Russian dolls etc).

Thanks to Yvette for sharing.

Sphere: Related Content

Traveling Parent Connects with Julie Ann Schmidt – Managing Partner at Lithium Logistics Group

I have a debt of gratitude to Julie Ann’s home base of Minneapolis/St. Paul.

Before joining Coca-Cola, I worked for ING in Atlanta, which acquired ReliaStar, an insurance company based in Minneapolis. While I traveled pretty frequently before, ING really upped the travel requirement at the same time the family started to grow. It became part of the inspiration for the “Sometimes I Work in…” series I wrote.

Julie Ann is a Certified Meeting Planner, which requires extensive and extended travel. She also works from her home, which, as you’ll read in her responses, creates something of a “feast or famine” situation. By that I mean that when she’s not traveling, she’s at home which affords the benefit of “extra” time with her kids who are ages 4 and 6. But when she on the road, the trips are long.

How many nights a month are you away from the kids?

I think that I average about 10 nights a month over the course of the year.

What is the one special routine you have to keep you connected with the kids while you're traveling?

My daughter like me to take my picture bracelet (a six photo charm bracelet) that makes her feel good. Due to most of my trips being to places that are 12 hours off form my home time zone my kids have an email account and my husband and nanny will type what they say and we email. This also allows me to email them from my blackberry while I am in a meeting or with a client and it seems like I am taking care of work.

Describe your feelings about being a business traveling parent?

As long as it is not having a negative impact on my kids I enjoy the travel that I do for my job. It can make me more present while I am here. Since I have a home office as does my husband I have figured out that they see me more even with my travel than if I didn’t travel and went to an office everyday. We also have a nanny so they have three adults around every day so we I am gone they still have two great care givers.

What will your kids remember about their childhood with you as a business traveling parent?

Interesting question – I hope that they will remember learning about other place in the world from where mommy traveled to and that they think that they can do anything they set their mind to.

Just prior to finalizing this post, Julie Ann added that writting good, old fashioned post cards was something she tried to do. That struck me as interesting because it was the second or third time in the last week that somebody mentioned post cards as being a genuine and heartfelt method of communicating. It seems Julie Ann would agree.

Thanks to Julie Ann for sharing her experiences as a business traveling parent.

Sphere: Related Content

Amenity Kits Make Welcome "gifts"

Who would have known that the little amenity kits offered in some business class cabins would be a minor sensation with the kids?

I brought home an intact kit from a recent trip to Istanbul and I nearly started a fight! It's pretty standard stuff among airlines, but the appeal to the kids got me thinking about creating a photo record of various kits and offering a mini-review. (The things we do!)

They didn't like the socks and mask, but they did like the toothpaste and toothbrush.  Ear plugs were a mystery to the iPod Generation.  The "fancy" case was a winner and turned a very likely 5 into an "average" 7.

Silly? Yes, without doubt.  But believe it or not, it was helpful as a way to connect with the kids before and after the trip.  Now we have a small little ritual that can help demystify the trip and even  create a little excitement.

And, if we're lucky, maybe somebody in the Department of Travel Amenity Kits will read this post and start making these nice-to-have conveniences little treasures for the kids.

Sphere: Related Content

Traveling Parent connects with Carolyn Graham, Editor of L.A. Parent and a business traveling parent.

Soon after my first son was born, I noticed that no matter where I was, being a “business traveling parent” meant that I had at least one meaningful connection I could make with any other business traveling parent.

Our kids, jobs, and life experiences were different, but the stories we exchanged where reassuring because the emotions we have for our children are universal and instantly recognizable. We're at home, away from home, when we talk about our children.

Documenting those differences, similarities and emotions from business traveling parents across the globe is what this feature is about.  

Thanks to Carolyn for sharing her experiences.

How many nights a month are you away from the kids?

For me, it greatly varies. I'll go months and months without traveling then will have to be away a couple of times in a month. As a parenting and family travel writer, I'm often lucky that I get to take my kids along.

What is the one special routine you have to keep you connected with the kids while you're traveling?

Naturally, I try to call, but that can be tough to hang to a set schedule.  And my kids don't seem to really need that. My own routine is that I try to think about them as I fall asleep at night. And I love the homecoming part!

Describe your feelings about being a business traveling parent? 

I love to travel, and while a do a whole lot less of it these days (due to deadlines and other obligations), I always saw it as an enrichment that I pass along to my kids, rather than seeing it as something that denies them my time. That might just be justification, but it works for me. And I think guilt sucks.

What will your kids remember about you as a business traveling parent?

Again, don't do it as much as I did when they were really little, but I think having a parent who loves to go places will infuse them with the same spirit.

About Carolyn, in her own words...

I'm the editor of L.A. Parent, a publication dedicated to providing resources for families in the Southland. I also write a blog called "I Don't Have Time for This" at LAParent.com. I live with my husband of 18 years, our two kiddos (8 and 4), and a loveable mutt named Olive (she often gives me more guilt about leaving than my kids do!). My first love is travel writing (I did that for 10 years before taking a full-time gig at LAP), so I do that as often as I can ­ and bring my kids whenever possible!

Do you have a story to share?  Please let us know by sending an email to stories@travelingparent.com.

Sphere: Related Content

A few insurance related tips for business traveling parents

A few years back, a bad storm blew through my neighborhood.  It knocked out power (a summer breeze knocks out power around here) and took down a few trees.  One of those trees fell on a the house of a friend who is also a business traveling parent.  

Nobody was hurt.  We were all home and able to quickly help get the kids out and secure the house from further damage.  But that experience got me thinking about how to prepare in the event an "insurable event" occurred while I was traveling.  I thought I'd look into this a bit, so I asked my agent and got a few good tips.

1. Don't assume your auto policy automatically extends to a rental car.  In fact, if you travel internationally, very few companies offer "world-wide" coverage.  The advice is to make sure all business travelers have a good handle on rental coverage.  (I wish I knew that while renting a car in South Africa!)
2. Homeowner (or rental) policies are likely to cover personal property while traveling, but it's important to have things you travel with (fancy watch, wedding band, etc...) specifically scheduled.  Otherwise, it may not be covered.  Furthermore, hotels provide NO coverage.  The advice is to wear what you bring or leave it at home.  (This tip has me rethinking the second PC I sometimes travel with and the cameras, etc...)
3. If you leave a spare key with a neighbor, consider also leaving the contact information of your insurance agent.  That way, if trouble hits while you're away, your neighbor can make a call so the agent can quickly get to work mitigating any further damage.  (This is a GREAT idea.)

I thought these tips were helpful and I'm going to dig around for more.  But many thanks to Shannon Price of Pritchard & Jerden for getting me started with these super tips.  If there are any readers out there with tips of their own, please share.

Sphere: Related Content

When the primary "chef" at home is also a business traveling parent, what happens at meal time?

Short of fattening the kids up and hoping they last until you get home, any tips or hints for the "kitchen-challenged" spouses of business traveling parents?  Do you prepare in advance? Take-out? Eat out?  

I am the business traveling parent and not the one who prepares the meals.  However, my wife has traveled on (rare) occasions.  When she does, she makes a tremendous effort to either have food in the freezer or ready for easy preparation.  It's a huge effort and I can't imagine that would be the routine if she traveled more frequently.  I know I couldn't do all that, but maybe that's why Mother's Day is a bigger deal than Father's Day.

The best I can do is leave behind some extra money for take-out or dine out.  (Wouldn't it be nice if companies allowed that as a business expense?)  It's not very much and it usually ends up being used only if she's run out of time (the other emergency stash) or just needs a well deserved break.

I'd love to hear your tips.  Maybe there's a new book in the works: "Cooking for Business Traveling Parents."

Sphere: Related Content

Emergency stash?

No...not that kind.

I just picked up a tip from a friend of mine from across the globe (Israel!).  Like many of us, he tries to bring home a small gift from his travels.  And also like many of us, he occasionally finds himself (for whatever reason) approaching the return trip home with no gifts.  The solution? A secret store of emergency gifts. 

"What I usually keep stashed are sure-win gifts, e.g. Thomas the Tank Engine accessories for my son and something girly for my daughter."  

A universal solution to a universal situation!

Thanks, Assaf.

Sphere: Related Content